Takeaway: This article shows how to gain some awareness (and better choices) in your schedule by becoming more aware of your speech
Have you ever been at a friends’ house for a playdate and you wind up observing the interactions between your friend and their partner, noticing the differences, or maybe similarities in how they talk to each other versus how you talk to your partner?
It’s easy to observe others talking, but with practice, we can turn this same observation on ourselves, and in here is massive personal growth and self development. The technique of becoming an observer of your own speech is powerful when it comes to better time management and lifestyle design.
Read on, especially if you struggle with saying yes, or you find yourself frequently overcommitted or overbooked and frustrated that you don’t have the space to act on things that are of higher priority (or interest) in your life.
If you think about it, we walk around with many thoughts and ideas in our head. More than 40,000 of them in a day, actually.
Out of all of those thoughts and ideas, which ones do we choose to put out there into the world? Which ones remain our “inside voice” ‘and which ones become our “outside voice.” When you think about it that way, you realize that speech is powerful.
Nobody knows what is going on inside of us until we speak.
Technically ,we don’t commit to anything in our outside world, or bring our future into existence until we speak.
When you think about next week, you’re just visualizing it.
When you talk about next week, you are designing next week by talking about things, committing to things, speaking next week into existence.
We design our life by speaking, and there are a few “speech acts” that commit us to our future.
Making a declaration (next Tuesday I am going to a playdate with X.)
Making an offer (would you like to go to the zoo next Wednesday with the kids?)
Making a request (I’d like us to get outside more next week.)
Making a promise (I’ll get that back to you by next Thursday.)
An example is today, we are getting outside with our kids for some fresh air. Thursday is designed. When did it become a plan versus a thought in my mind?
Last week. Last week I said to my husband,
Me: we need to get the kids out for fresh air (vague request.)
Husband: I’m off on Thursday, we could go out in the morning (declaration.)
Me: How about we go to the zoo? (offer)
Husband: Great idea! (accept)
So I: *Put it in the calendar.
There you go. An idea floating around in our heads that we both agreed on. Then we designed our upcoming week with speech acts (a variety of them in this conversation.)
As you begin to think about this, and watch yourself in conversations this week, notice what your tendencies are.
(your week is planned and you are left asking yourself, why do I have all this shit on my schedule that I don’t want to do?)
Do you make promises or offers to other people?
Do you tend to plan your week based on other people’s requests (that you’ve said “yes” to) or their declarations (letting them take the lead.)
You don’t make promises or offers.
(You declare your priorities and what you have capacity for and want to achieve in the upcoming week – yes that means putting it out there in speech 🙂 and you say No as well as Yes.)
You plan your week based on your own and your family’s requests (which brings me to an interesting point, do you KNOW what you need in your upcoming week and do you have the speech skills to not let other things get in the way? Can you say NO to other people’s stuff, so that you can protect and experience your own stuff?)
Questions for you to take away:
This week, I simply invite you (with this knew knowledge) to observe yourself and what your tendencies are.
How do they influence how your days and weeks unfold ?
If you are interested in designing a lifestyle and a future that works for you, how do your speech acts work for you in designing that?
How do they work against you?