There are five things I love about Girl, Wash Your Face, a best-selling book by Rachel Hollis which is on the NYT list right now. I wanted to share those today. I’m jumping the gun a bit, because I am ONLY halfway through the book right now, but I know I won’t get around to this post if I take my usual all-or-nothing approach, so we’ll have this half-way review, and a completion review, k? I promise you I have my sleepy time tea ready and the kids are asleep and I am going to crush that thing tonight.
Yes, I finally caved and downloaded it! I usually run away from best sellers. I prefer to explore in the fringes of self development / personal growth books, because I know the content there is just as good as any best seller content. BUT… after hearing Rachel on the Lewis Howes School of Greatness Podcast (my fav podcast in the world and my trusted companion over 3 mat leaves) I loved her vibe and decided to spend the $10.
I FINALLY located my Kindle Charge Chord (in the ‘nono drawer’ a repository of all the things I have taken away from my little people. Scissors, craft glue, matches, and all sorts of other absurdly dangerous objects they manage to find and play with) ) I was able to get back into my favourite mat leave habit of snuggling my little guy and reading the kindle. Bliss!
Want to hear something else? I put off reading it because of this emotion called…
Ugggh. Gross. Jealousy is a very human but a rather sinister emotion and you feel horrible for experiencing it. But, as I posted on Instagram TV the other day, if you are able to look hard emotions in the eye and break them down, you can often break through to a gift, or positive emotion underneath. I did that very thing with this jealousy that came up, and discovered it is because she is doing what I desire MOST. Jealousy can illuminate your deepest purpose and desire, and get your ass in gear. It shows you what you want. Now, it’s up to you to get past your barriers (the barrier is your own thinking, btw.) It certainly is mine. I keep putting writing off. I keep shying away from setting the boundaries with my kids and husband. I keep doubting my abilities. All of those are thinking things. And they block the doing.
What are yours?
I am absolutely driven to write the Great Maternity Leave Book, filled with all of the adventures from that bucket list I’ve been working through since 2012 when I started this crazy parenthood journey. There’s a chapter on initiation into motherhood and how weird it is, striving to keep developing, growing and retaining my identity, stepping out of the rat race and being a human BEING instead of a human DOING and doing deeper exploration into who I am as a human.
I knew, in the depths of my soul, that when I read Hollis’ book that the passion and desire to begin writing would be ON FIRE and I was certainly right, because a central tenet of Hollis’ book is taking OWNERSHIP and RESPONSIBILITY for your own happiness. And now I’m like DAMMIT I need to fight for the space and time to write this book already ( the entire structure is sitting in my Evernote, whispering my name.)
But this post isn’t about me, it’s about Rachel and her wicked book, so let’s continue.
Hollis’ book was about $9.99 to download on Kindle through Amazon.ca and it’s showing that it is usually more, so I must have gotten a deal. Win! I’ve debated reading paper books versus Kindle, but the truth of the matter is, despite my preference for paperback, the kindle makes it possible for me to read with young children. Another huge bonus of the kindle is that you can highlight and then log into your Kindle cloud reader and go back through the highlights, which I am doing right now as I type.
I crushed 50% of the book yesterday and am already looking forward to crawling into bed with a tea (husband on night shift! win!)
So, what are my impressions so far of Hollis’ book? What stands out for me?
First, her complete and utter authenticity. She is bold and dives right into her most personal stuff. It truly takes courage to bring up one’s deepest challenges, particularly her early relationship with her husband and consequential journey with understanding self-worth. I think part of what has made her a sensation is she has finally said (in a published book) what so many of us are thinking at this point in our lives (30s, with kids.) . I don’t know about you but I’m done jumping through the hoops of life’s benchmarks of success, and I’m done shifting myself to accomodate other people. At this point in my life I shall be unapologetically me, and not polish or buffer myself.
Second, her humour! Hollis’ sense of humour comes out in subtle ways in this book but I can easily imagine that in person, she’s hilarious. I would dare say she could have unleashed her humour a bit more, but I’m only halfway in so perhaps she gets bolder as we go? I hope so, it’s awesome. So far, every now and then, out of the blue, she’ll drop a hilarious sentence into a paragraph that had me giggling. It takes a keen sense of humour to be able to drop hilarious sentences into what is otherwise quite a serious topic, and when she talks about a particularly challenging point in her life, and that she “can see it coming” her perfectly timed reference to the Phil Collins Song and the drum solo made me snort my tea out.
Third, You’ll Feel Connected to Her. It’s not just me, I’m confident that you will be reading this think and nodding your head like , yes, yes, YES. Hollis has her finger right on the pulse of women in their mid 30s, and an entire movement (I believe it is a world movement) of people who know there must be something more behind these stupid frantic crazy lives we have, filed with to do lists, and places to be, and things to pay and show up to.
My oldest just started kindergarten, I’m still working on getting her lunches together and getting her to school on time (I had to pick up my first late slip today and felt quite guilty.) When I began to see just how many emails I get from teh school council, this 6 day activity schedule (wtf? They go to school 5 days a week?) . all of the folders she takes on certain days and themes? Jayyyysus. I can’t keep up. Nor can Hollis. And she spins a positive on it.
Do what you’re good at. Be average at the rest and be okay with average. GET BETTER AT BEING AVERAGE. Or sub-par even. Embrace your average-ness. That is an entire blog post I need to write. It’s freeing!
Fourth, She Doesn’t Bullshit. Hollis is a hard, and I mean hard working mother, and she doesn’t sugar coat the work and sacrifices it took to get her media company to where it is today. This is incredibly refreshing in the self help / personal development industry. Though Hollis will rightfully tell you (as I do my own clients) that you can literally design your future and have it come to you, it’s also going to take some serious hard work and early mornings and crushing self doubt and questions as to whether the sacrifices are worth it. Story of working Mamas, I tell ya.
Fifth, her Christian Faith is Strong, but not Alienating. I’ve never subscribed to one religion, I think they all have the same themes anyways just packaged in different stories. I grew up Anglican in England, and then attended Catholic School as a teenager. I always felt a bit odd with literal interpretations and to be honest, totally confused at all fo the stories, characters, bibles, sections, etc. Hollis references scriptures quite frequently in this book but what i really appreciate, is that she owns her faith, but not in a way that feels pushy, and though she shares scriptures, she links it back to our own lives. For me, I felt this was a perfect blend of honouring your deep faith / religion, but in a way that doesn’t alienate others of different beliefs. It’s a model of how the world should proceed – everyone should feel comfortable with expressing and living out who they are, and no-one in the process, feels pressured or judged.
So far, halfway through the book, there’s been some things emerging which I am hoping she goes into a bit more depth on in the book.
She’s mentioned how easy it is to buffer the intensity of human life with substance abuse (alcohol, cannabis, whatever the method) which was fascinating. She’s also so far briefly mentioned letting go of the need to control and predict life (she teaches this through sharing her unexpected career twists and turns, and weaves it into scripture.)
I find with self help and life coaching tools, that if you stay too surface level and just give tips, tricks and a quick anecdote, it doesn’t connect, it feels pithy and and pinterest-worthy, but doesn’t truly impact you, and you move onto the next thing. Literally this is my only critique is that she offers some total gems of wisdom which you want to journey into deeper with her, but there’s simply not time and space for it in the book.
I imagine that this is a really hard part of the editing process for ANY writer! It’s so hard to capture an entire lifetime worth of experience in a book (I have no doubt she’ll write another) and so if she doesn’t’ go deeper on some of the above topics, I really can’t fault her for it, but I felt it worth mentioning I was left wanting more on a few topics and that is a GREAT thing.