Welcome to a very different way to approach climbing out of depression or that thing we all know as, well, a funk.
I am so glad you are here. Before we begin I want to let you know that this is a longer article, but if you stick it out (which you should, because we need to practice this skill in our instant gratification society) then, you’ll get some interesting insights and possibly a mindset shift (and a different way) to look at your challenges with energy and mood.
Let’s Climb Out of Our Funks Together, Ok?
The shift in mindset I am going to present to you isn’t new. In fact, professional coaches and personal development figures all over the world use similar principles. I’ve been using it on myself and it works.
I just wanted to put it into my own words and model, and I found it helpful to use a bit of science to ground the woo-woo. I always need a bit of both because too much woo woo and I switch off, I also don’t like a lot of metaphysical language. And it needs to be practical and actionable.
My unconventional take on climbing up and out of funks is based not just on my own experience, but the experience of countless people I’ve coached who are walking the same path as you, me, us.
I’m glad you googled the above things and found your way here, that you’re curious about energy and have realized there’s much more to this crazy thing called life…
I like takes on things that help me have “ah hah moments.” I hope you have one today.
This post will land with you on some level even if you have been thinking “yeah, I’ve totally been in a low energy funk” or “yeah, I’ve met someone who had really good vibes and I just love being around them!”
Energetics is an entire area of knowledge that has opened up to me gradually over the years.
I’ve become better at knowing if I am a good place of energy or a bad place of energy. I’ve become better at noticing the subtle differences in my thoughts, attitude, energy, motivation, self care and even lifestyle when I’m in different places.
I’ve also noticed with my 3 children different types of energy, and I’m sure you’ve seen too how easily they pick up on others’ energetic states. I’ve been working on the energy we have in the house and how we can offset our kids’ tough moments with calm grounded energy. It’s absolutely fascinating.
Side note: Parents, I highly recommend reading Carol Tuttle who gets into the different energy types of children, because it will make SO much sense when you have more than 1 kiddo and get the feeling that they are all so different from each other. My first came out a feisty little squealing dragon, my second came out like he’d already been around for 200 years and it was just another life time, sort of a grumpy and sensitive little old man, and my third is just a happy go lucky, easy going guy. They are ALL so different and their different energy states has made me much more in tune with how my energy affects them and vice versa, and how different kids just have totally different needs and approaches. This book was probably one of my foundational knowledge books of parenthood.
We pick up energy in other people too.
Have you ever noticed when someone has good vibes or bad vibes and it comes true through in some sort of evidence later on and you think “ah, I KNEW IT!”
I’m fascinated by this idea.
Recognizing that we have a physical state, a logic state, an emotional state AND an energetic state has huge implications for anyone who wants to properly elevate their lives in multiple domains.
As we understand more about science, we understand more about this strange “vibe” that we as humans all experience – whether good or bad.
So let’s jump into a bit of science, shall we? I promise I’ll go easy, I speak the language of
“I was up at 4am with the kids last night and barely passed university physics.”
So… We are energy.
We are all made of energy. We are made of particles, and if you keep going further and further down, to atoms, then to protons and neutrons, and then to quarks (3 in each to be precise) – there, you get to energy.
So this moves us from thinking about our body as physical matter, to energy… K?
I really want you to hold it in your mind that we are energy, and energy can be measured by wavelengths. Try to get away from the floaty dots and spinny things and orbits that we all drew in high school physics.
Energy can be measured by waves, and a bunch of them are called wavelengths, because waves keep going in a pattern.
Our heart is an energetic organ. It can be measured by wavelengths. Our thoughts are energy. They can be measured by wavelengths. Our brain has all sorts of wavelengths (great gifs here explaining all of the different wavelengths.)
Once you get grounded in this, it isn’t a stretch to start thinking of our own selves as energetic beings. We oscillate back and forth, peaks and troughs. Whether it’s our heart, our brain, hell, even LABOUR! (oh yeah, you totally remember that device printing out your contractions!) everything ebbs and flows.
If you expand outward you see it in nature. Ebb and flow in the seasons. The spring of expansion, the fall of contraction. YOUR OWN LIFE. You go through ebbs and flows. January? Totally motivated. Summer? Slips off. Following winter, you come back around.
Moods? Some days you feel amazing. Other days you don’t.
Nothing, and I mean nothing is not experiencing wavelengths.
NOTHING STAYS THE SAME.
Okay so we’re in the home stretch now.
Why is all of this super important for understanding how to get ourselves out of a funk?! Well…
Quick jump back into science.
Newton’s 3rd Law of Physics says that for any force (action), there must be an equal and opposite force (reaction.) Think of the downward trough, and then necessary crest in a wavelength.
If we are experiencing a drop in our energy, our mood, our thoughts, you know, the entire “system” that we can energetically feel, we should still have hope.
Why? I can tell you right now, with all my heart, as someone who has walked this path, experienced real ebbs and flows in my life, that coming out of each trough every time has led to a re-evaluation and entirely different level of life and happiness and wisdom (a crest and an entirely different wave form.)
Newton’s laws of physics holds that with a big drop in energy (ie: depression, a funk, true suffering) we are going to follow with a major rise.
I – and any psychologist, counsellor, therapist you speak to, can say without hesitation that our periods of suffering are ALWAYS, ALWAYS the catalyst for a major growth point in our life, and that we have the power to truly level up our lives BECAUSE of this stage.
Pain and suffering, when it gets to be enough, necessitates massive growth. A HUGE shift in thinking. Epiphanies that shift the way you see the world. Suffering FORCES us to look at things in new ways, because we simply get tired of our shit.
Sadly though, not everybody climbs out of their place of suffering, because there are things that buffer the pain (addictions) that would normally force us to get the hell out and change what we are doing.
Your equal and opposite reaction to depression, or whatever you are going through, my friend, is going to be an elevation. A crest after the trough. An improved level of energy and wisdom in your life. BUT. And this is a big BUT. You’ve got to do the work to crest on your wave again as well. You can’ t just buffer your troughs with alcohol, binge eating, whatever you tend to use to ease bad days. We’re not a bouncy ball here, we HAVE to do the work to get out of the trough, and you all know it does feel like it has a gravitational pull of its own.
Do the simple things, whether it’s a shower, drinking 2 L of water, or getting outside, just to get you coming back up out of the trough, ok? For every shitty thought, put out an equal and opposite (good) thought. For every time you feel hopeless, think about something to feel hopeful for (ie: how freaking happy your kids are going to be on christmas day this year.)
When you’ve overcome the gravitational force of a deep trough by doing all of the little things, that are the opposite, that is when we can start addressing bigger things and different wavelengths entirely.
Your values, your lifestyle, your work, your family ,your relationship. These bigger pieces are what we begin to address to get ourselves into a higher overall energetic state or level. Different wavelengths. Still oscillations, but the crests and troughs you have in a high energy state are vastly better.
Mastering the crests and troughs (the ups and downs) of your current state means that you can begin to think about mastering an entirely different wavelength and way of being.
Remember back at the beginning when I mentioned that you can totally feel when people have different energies and vibes to them?
You have people in your life who are that higher wavelength below, and when you spend time of them, you feel like you’ve been elevated simply being in their presence. And you probably have people in your life who are in that lower wavelength, and when you spend time with them, you find yourself going down a few notches. Have you ever been at a family event with a negative family member, and all of a sudden you catch yourself eating like shit at the appetizer table and violating all of the standards you hold yourself to? Yup, you’re vibing off of them and meeting them where they are. There’s lots of things we can do to protect our energy states (to come in a later post) but I really wanted to get this idea settled in your mind first.
If you really are serious about climbing out of your funk:
I want you to do a very important 15 minute exercise, ideally in a journal. Using your skeletal muscles and had has some kind of crazy power in making things very, very real and putting things into action.
1.) I want you to look at those three different places of energy above. I want you to think of a time where you have been in each of these states. Write when and where down.
2.) . Next, I want you to write down what you are like, what your thoughts are like, your actions, your emotions in each of these three places of energy. You can see in the picture above I’ve put in some initial things, but it is so unique to you. I know for me when I am eating dairy and gluten (which make me feel terrible btw) I know I am eating in that low state. Ruminating on the past or problems? Yup, I know I’m in that red wavelength.
3.) Think about which wavelength you are presently on. Then, connect with that great green wavelength. Where were you there last, what kind of things were you doing there? One of the things that has been massively helpful lately is going back to the gym, because I know “green wavelength me” loves it. Personally speaking, my first week or two I didn’t. I had to force myself, but I can feel that little part of happiness coming back on line now. I had to trust myself and override my depressed brain logic. Day by day, as I add things, I not only climb out of the trough and up onto a crest again, but I also begin to shift my entire energy state to a better place.
Phew, there you go. A long article tonight but I truly truly hope it connects with you and please leave me a comment. Did it make sense? Land with you? Any examples you can give? Would love to hear.
Next up, a continuation of my exploration into the nature of anxiety
(aka Anxiety Part 2. Read Part 1 here if you like.)
(If you want help doing this, I’ll be very soon launching a coaching course to help you week by week, climb upward and out of your funk and into an entirely different 2019.
I’ve been creating it with love and care, and tools used by the world’s greatest coaches and knowledge keepers such as Brene Brown and Tony Robbins. If you are interested in staying up to date on the launch, sign up here.
Interesting links & further reading